Go to Your Destiny

Originally written on 23 November at 2:37pm. Though the photo was taken the morning after.

As I type this, I am cruising north on a rickety railroad in a hootin’-and-tootin’ train. I’m passing by quaint towns you thought only existed in movies, an Amish-looking county or two, and woods that look like a scene from Twilight. By the time you read this, however, I’ll have been on a bus, train, ferry, and car in six hours to be on the outskirts of civilization. It was sort of planned, sort of spontaneous. I just figured it would be nice to get out of town for a week to celebrate Thanksgiving and relax before I begin my new job.

The view from my final destination. Pardon the quality, it was taken with my phone.

Yes, you read that right – a new job. I’ll finally be another 9-to-5er! My job is within the development field, and I’ve known for quite some time that this is what I want to pursue.

I was bummed when Ridiculous Organization in San Francisco rescinded its job offer after they decided at training that I was too young. But I’m not lying when I say I wasn’t excited for the job with Ridiculous Organization. All that went through my mind was, ‘Well, I guess I’m no longer underemployed.’ With this job though I was beyond ecstatic when I was offered the position. I’m talking jumping up and down, squealing, and calling my friends. Everything felt right: there’s a team I get to collaborate with, the rest of the staff is fantastic, I actually believe in the organization’s mission and values, the salary and benefits package are great, and I get my own office! None of that can be said for the job with Ridiculous Organization.

I’ve been trying to get into the field of development. During the process, I learned the differences between a donor-centric organization (relationship-focused and donor-driven; it’s about the donors) and a program-centric organization (transaction-focused and appeals-driven; it’s about the money). And there’s a growing general consensus that nonprofits should be donor-centric, which I support. Looking back, I see now that Ridiculous Organization is program-centric whereas my amazing organization is donor-centric.

So, I’m glad that I’m on the right track. All I’ve been doing following my destiny and I like where it’s going right now.

Ab Imo Pectore*

The past week has been a whirlwind. A good whirlwind. A very good whirlwind.

I’ve re-discovered the joy in my life, the passion in my art, the meaning of love, and the perseverance in my career. I’m happy with who I am, what I can do, and how I do it.

I’ve learned what I’m grateful for, and who I want with me as I embark on this journey. It’s the ones whom I called jumping up and down — the ones who called to make sure that I was squealing that day because they remembered.

They’re the ones that mean the world to me.

*Ab imo pectore means ’from the heart.’ Or, literally speaking, ‘from the bottom of the chest.’

A Voracious Reader

Ever since I can remember — and my parents can attest to this — I’ve always been a voracious reader. As soon as I got a book in my hands I’d be off on a journey with the literary characters for hours upon hours. Before I knew it, I’d have the book finished in either one or two sittings. Some of my most vivid childhood memories involve books and the library.

Having library periods (am I the only one that always had a class period devoted solely to going to the library). Going to the library and relishing being able to check out, read, and understand young adult books as an elementary and middle-schooler (though some were too raunchy). Choosing library time as one of my (many, many, many) after-school activities. And, oh my, ordering all the books my little heart could desire from the Scholastic Book catalog (the fair itself never went abroad…).

Reading is a passion of mine. It always has been and I hope it always will be.

During college, unfortunately, I rarely read. For pleasure, anyway. The several hundreds of pages of reading I had to do each night (it’s what I get for being a double major, one of which took pride in giving the most reading) were for academia. Fortunately, with college done I’ve got more time in my hands.

I’m reading two books right now — yes, you read that right — but I’m already on a search for the next book. Here’s what I’ve got in mind. Sorry, I couldn’t pick just one; I’ll probably be reading these both together if and when I get my hands on these.

How to Be Lovely: The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life

by Melissa Hellstern

Oh, Audrey Hepburn. She is the epitome of elegance and sensuality; her class and poise is timeless.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t look to her from time to time for inspiration. Especially since I often strive to be simply elegant with my style. You know, just… lovely. So, what better book to read than this?

I believe that there’s only one book left at Powell’s. So, if you’re in Portland, Ore., please don’t buy it.

Love Warps the Mind a Little

by Julia Glass

The title caught my eye; it’s clever and seems all too fitting. But, really: I’ve developed a fondness for dark humor novels and from the sounds of it this book is one. It’s also a ‘You Must Read This’ on NPR!

According to NPR, ”Love Warps the Mind a Little is a masterpiece of the genre that writers call the “funny-sad novel,” where humor both defies and gives shape to grief. It is rich entertainment, sheer lunacy, moonshine for the wounded heart. All the best novels are about one thing: how we go on. The characters must survive the fallout of their own cowardice, folly, denial or misguided passion. They squander what matters most, and still they pick up the pieces.“

It will probably be another week or two before I get around to buying these. I need to first finish the two books that I’m currently reading. I will keep you updated, and I’ll probably buy a book on home beer brewing too.

On a slightly different note, an author whom I really, really like is coming to Portland: Augusten Burroughs, probably most well-known for Running with Scissors. It’s next week but I can’t afford the ticket (I know, boo-hoo) even though it does come with a copy of his latest book, You Better Not Cry.

Wow. Okay. This entry has been all over the place; I hope you kept up with my rambles. Do let me know if you have any more books that I should consider reading though.

Whirlwind

Where do I even begin?!

As you may know, my life has been filled with more downs than ups the past few weeks. The personal mood + outlook at life trend is beginning to take a positive spin. If you were to graph it, however, you would notice that it still vacillates some and is therefore an all too tumultuous upward trend.

I don’t want to go into details online since I’d rather share it with those friends who take the time to ask how I’m doing and to hang out with me. (And, of course, you, if so choose to send me an e-mail). To sum up what I’ve been up to and will be up to, however, here are a few lovely snippets:
- workshops and webinars on start-up businesses and social media
- fellowship applications
- research proposal: ‘Applying the Business Model to Education’
- only wearing either heels or boots
- making my f*in awesome Halloween costume
- maybe visiting a new country or two

This week, I decided that I really need to concentrate on who and what matters most to me. A few weeks ago, I just felt so unwanted by people who I thought were important to me. What did I do? Well, I cried, moped around, got angry, etc. Then I changed my attitude. With that, I quickly realized what an amazing support system I have: immediate and extended family, close and distant friends, new and old colleagues. There are people out there that care about  me and love me as much as I care about them and love them. For that, I am extremely grateful. Imagine that.

Simply said, the world is my oyster!

Saturday Night

The Boys have gone off to a BBQ of sorts and I opted to stay home. A nice opportunity to have the house to myself, slowly unwind and ponder random thoughts.

I lit the tiki torches in the back porch and made a delicious mug of homemade Mayan hot chocolate. While that was heating up, I grabbed a sweatshirt, some magazines, the moleskin, pens, and my laptop. Now, I’m sitting on the couch facing the river, wearing my comfortable college sweatshirt, watching the stars come out and sipping my mug of homemade Mayan hot chocolate as I listen to Norah Jones (and the crickets). I’m not sure how long I’ll stay out here for… It’s starting to get chilly but I may grab a blanket and open up that bottle of white wine (I’m sure the BF won’t mind?) once the hot chocolate runs out.

Oh, my ankles are bruised but I’ll talk about that next time.